Fancy Pants Sunday: Perennial Sump Coffee Stout

Ah yes, the eternal question that haunts only the most spiritually evolved among us, the ones who sip not just with mouths but with intent: Does the world truly need another Fancy Pants Sunday? To which we say: Does the moon need tides? Does basil need bread? Does your rain-soaked existential despair need a velvet sledgehammer of 10 percent ABV solace poured into a snifter and whispered directly into your soul? Yes. Always yes.

Because this is not about logic or restraint or the so-called beer cellar you swear you’re building someday. This is about that holy porch communion — a soggy egg hunt unfolding in the mist, the Sunday sky weeping gently on your neighbors’ bewildered Labradoodle, and you, radiant in your oversized cardigan, sipping something dark and reverent and profoundly unnecessary, which is precisely the point.

Behold: Sump Coffee Stout from the obsessive monks at Perennial Artisan Ales, St. Louis, Missouri. This is not mere stout. This is ritual. A union of Los Pinos Colombian coffee, roasted by the equally fussy Sump Coffee of South St. Louis, with an imperial base so rich, so dense with cocoa and vanilla and roasted barley and ghost-notes of cedar, it might as well have been poured from a burnt oak reliquary. The nose says morning-after-dream. The mouth says midnight confession. The finish lingers like a warm, bourbon-kissed goodbye from someone you didn’t realize you loved until they were gone.

And yes, it shares the same divine base as Perennial’s Abraxas. Of course it does. Because if you’re going to put on fancy pants, darling, you might as well sprint.

You fancy Perennial Sump Coffee Stout!

LINK: Peaks & Pints beer and cider cooler inventory