It’s official: Pappi Swarner’s cat isn’t from Earth. The glowing eyes, the disdainful stare, the way he judges humanity from atop the fridge like an emissary of a more advanced, fur-covered civilization — all proof. We suspect he was sent by the Feline Mother Planet to observe one human specimen in particular, and friends, the report is not kind.
Each morning, we can practically hear the transmission beaming through the ether: “Masters, it’s bad down here. My subject insists on keeping the kitchen faucet dripping at a precise, ceremonial rate because I once pretended it was the only way I’d drink. And yet, when I rejected the first two plates of wet mush, the man did not produce a third. Standards are collapsing. He’s unraveling.”
The alien voice crackles on: “At 3 a.m., he woke up dancing to something called ‘If You Could Read My Mind’—a disco remake, no less—while muttering to himself like a caffeinated mystic. He’s even created a cat-themed beer flight at his tavern, which I fear may be the first step toward world domination or matching outfits.”
Then, a pause. The sound of fabric rustling. “He’s coming. He’s got that ridiculous peasant rag again. If I must fake cabbage shopping one more time, I’ll claw my way back to the mothership myself.”
We tell you, friends — the truth is out there. And it purrs.
Enjoy your Flight of Cat Beers. Meow, meow, and godspeed.
Craft Beer Crosscut 11.15.19: Flight of Cat Beer
Kulshan Kitten Mittens Winter Ale
7.4% ABV, 39 IBU
Kulshan Brewing adds four different malts — 2-row, Chocolate, roasted barley and Munich — to Kitten Mittens Winter Ale giving it the rich, medium-bodied winter warmer we adore with a nose of milk chocolate and a touch of brown malt. The body strikes a nice mix of easy malty notes and medium sweet chocolate balanced by earthy hop notes, thanks to the Apollo, Willamette and Fuggle hops. We dig the touch of chocolate liquor on the finish.
Black Raven Kitty Kat Blues
5.8% ABV, 35 IBU
From Redmond, comes this Black Raven Brewing unassuming pale ale that has the screws turned a bit with additions of dried blueberries, vanilla bean and, originally, organic mountain-grown catnip, but has since been substituted with hibiscus. The result is an easy drinking pale ale that finishes like this morning’s blueberry muffin with, of course, vanilla, dry bittering hops and hibiscus.
Fat Orange Cat Sweet Jane Key Lime
7.2% ABV
Fat Orange Cat Brew Co. is a small, seasonal farm brewery in East Hampton, Connecticut, but many of their craft beers, including Sweet Jane Key Lime milkshake IPA, are brewed and canned at Dorchester Brewing in Boston, Massachusetts. They specialize in small batch recipes making an effort to support and promote local agriculture. Fat Orange Cat’s Sweet Jane Key Lime is rich, creamy, fruity, milkshake IPA with nice green citrus, banana, fresh cream, and round tropical, dank, earthy/fruity dry-hop notes. It’s vanilla from top to bottom, but complex due to hops and fruit.
Georgetown Meowsa!
8.4% ABV, 60 IBU
“Meowsa the Brewing Cat
The Cat who could brew a beer.
He brews around
all over Georgetown
Meowsa the Brewing Cat!”
Indeed, Georgetown Brewing’s brewery cat, Meowsa, brewed a double IPA and named it after his own name. If you force fed a watermelon a steady diet of mandarin oranges and pineapples and then dropped said watermelon into a wood chipper, the resulting aromas and flavors that came out of the business end of the wood chipper would be the best way to describe Meowsa! As much as Meowsa dislikes the term “juicy” this DIPA is very juicy and has very little bitterness for the style.
Gigantic The Cat Ate My Stash & Pissed On The Christmas Tree
7.5% ABV, 85 IBU
Ben Love and Van Havig had the pedigree when they opened Gigantic Brewing Wednesday May 9, 2012. Havig spent 16 years brewing at Portland’s Rock Bottom, and Ben Love held down posts at Pelican Brewing in Pacific City and Hopworks Urban Brewery in Portland. Together, the two produce a year round IPA and a wide variety of rotating seasonals, specialties, and one-offs, including The Cat Ate My Stash & Pissed On The Christmas Tree IPA. Inspired by the enigmatic John Mallett of Bell’s Brewery, this festive IPA is loaded with the dankest, sticky, drippy, and piney hops the Gigantic brewers could get their hands on.
